Learning to Breathe
by ThursdayAngelus
Summary: Castiel's account of the first day of his life. one shot. COMPLETE.


I opened my eyes. And by opening them I discovered I could see. As soon as my eyes opened I was hit with a force so strong that I could barely keep my eyes open. _Light._ The word for that force was thrust into my head. Once my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw color. The blue of the endless space above me: _sky._ And flecks of white: _clouds._ Off to one side- we_st_- I saw a blinding patch of yellow, it was too bright to stare at directly. So I looked away. The image of the yellow- _sun_- was imprinted on my eyelids. A shape clear and defined, yet hazy and smeared all at the same time. I found that I liked the sun. And then I knew I had feelings.

My chest began to ache, and panic began to spread through my body. My mouth opened instinctively, and my chest heaved outwards, filling with a texture-less substance, with a distinct but undefinable taste- _air-_ my body told me. And that was how I learned needed to breathe.

The air around me smelled off from what my brain knew it should. It wasn't unpleasant. In fact, it was sweet. I looked at the ground beside me, and I that moment I realized I was laying. On all sides I was surrounded by long thin stalks of green, topped with curves of yellow, imitating the sun. I sat up and reached for one of the bends of yellow, and found it soft and smooth- _petals_- and I found that I enjoyed the texture of them. The petals layered atop each other made a sun like shape, and I thought them to be just as beautiful as the sun itself. _Flowers._ The flowers were giving off the sweet smell that I decided I enjoyed.

I tore my eyes away from the flowers and looked at the space around me. I was in an open area- _field-_ surrounded by tall powerful stalks of brown. They looked ancient and withered, but sturdy enough to last countless lifetimes. I stood, and learned that I had legs. I had the sudden demanding urge to walk over to the great brown pillars, and I obeyed. I walked, stumbling and faltering on my unsteady legs.

I had been laying in the middle of the field, and it was a rather large distance to me, though I guess I wasn't a very good judge at the time, having nothing to compare the fields size to. But since I had never walked before, I guess any distance would have seemed long.

The space I had been laying in was covered in flowers too. But these flowers were no longer trying to catch the sun. They were flat, weaving around each other, like an intricate cloth. I knew that they wouldn't live much longer, and it mad me sad. Then I knew sorrow, and it hurt worse than all of my falls on my trek across the field. As I looked down at my feet, I saw that every step I took killed more flowers. This was my first experience with guilt.

When I reached the brown columns, I looked up and saw small pieces of green layering over atop one another over and over again. There were so many small green flecks- _leaves-_ that they formed a solid wall of green across the canopy of the towers of brown-_ trees._ A bit of sunlight bled through, making the air seem to glow. I was once again struck with beauty.

I looked back into the field, and saw the sun was slowly falling out of the sky, sliding slow but steadily downwards. As it fell, it changed from the pure yellow to vibrant red orange color, and the sky was filled wit colors I could have never imagined, but yet they still existed. The names for them appeared in my head as I saw them: _pink, purple, red, orange, indigo, violet..._ The colors grew and swelled, then suddenly, died.

I wanted them back, I did not want them to leave me. And then I discovered I was capable of desire. But when the colors died, the sun went with them, and the warmth suddenly left the earth. It was cold, it was dark, and I was afraid. I heard a sound behind me, and spun around. I saw a reddish brown four legged being. It had a fluffy tail, and pointed snout. It looked calmly at me, as if it thought me incapable of destruction. I looked at the creature- _fox-_ and realized I did not wish to harm it. I stared into it's green eyes, and was no longer afraid.

After a wile, the fox left. And I was alone again.

This time I was not afraid, I looked at the sky and saw standing out sharply against the blackness, was a giant orb of white- _moon_. It seemed to have replaced the sun, because it was glowing as well. Only this light was not yellow and warm, but white and soft. I stared at the moon for a long time.

When I looked way, I saw other lights. Most of them were white and small, but others were red, blue, yellow. They looked to be tiny moons, but I knew they were _stars._ I saw so many of these stars, that I wanted to know how many there were. So I began to count.

I had only gotten up to three hundred forty six, when I saw red out of the corner of my eye. I turned to look at the glowing color, and lost count of the stars. The glow was on the other side of the clearing, and I wanted to see it closer, so I began to walk. I got close enough to see that it was moving, flickering, alive. It was in a circle of stone, eating branches. I stared at the glow from the shadows. Then y mind told me the glow's identity, it was known as _fire_.

The fire was guarded by another creature, one that I felt more of a connection to. I stared at it as it walked to the fire with more wood to fuel the flames. The creature-_ man_- was interesting to watch. I wanted to go closer, but I felt that I should leave, so I did.

I went back to the middle of the field, and lay down once more. I stared at the sky for a long while. Then, the blackness was erased by gray, then pink. The moon died, and the sun returned. I was glad to see the sun once more, and that was the first time I felt joy.

Without warning, another being quite like myself landed next to me. He laid out on the flowers beside me, and made sounds that my brain turned into words. _Speaking._ "Hello, my brother. I am glad hat you made it through the night."

I sensed that he was no harm, and looked back at the sky I saw a different new creature leap from a tree and sail into the sky. It was a_ bird. A hawk. It had wings. _And then, I realized I had wings too. I stood, and the other stood with me.

"My name is Raphael. I am here to take you home with me. Go on now, brother. Fly. Fly, Castiel."

_Castiel._ That was my word. The word that meant me. I am Castiel. I turned to Raphael, and he nodded. I spread my wings, and pushed them down, fast and hard. And then I was flying, my brother leading the way to our home. I had a new feeling, a feeling more wonderful than any I had ever felt before. And when I asked my mind what the word for this feeling was, it responded with not one word, but many. Words from every language of man.

_V__ryheid,__liri,__الحرية__, __azadlıq, __askatasuna__, __свабоды__, __свобода__, __la llibertat__, __sloboda__, __svoboda__, __frihed__,__vrijheid, __vabadus__, __kalayaan__, __vapaus__, __la liberté__, __liberdade__, __Freiheit__, __ελευθερία__ , __libète, __חופש__, __स्वतंत्रता__, __szabadság__, __frelsi__, __kebebasan__, __saoirse__, __libertà__, __libero__, __brīvību__, __laisvė__, __слобода__, __kebebasan__, __frihet__, __آزادی__, __wolność__, __libertate__, __свободы__, __svobode__, __la libertad__, __uhuru__, __เสรีภาพ__, __özgürlük__, __tự do__, __rhyddid__, __פרייַהייַט__..._

_Freedom._


End file.
